Bullying. We hear this word often these days. However, I wonder if it’s losing it’s true meaning, because the term is increasingly misused. If we over-use or incorrectly use the term ‘bull,” many kids won’t know what it truly means to bully someone. Could that already be happening?
I am a firm believer that parents should teach their kids not to bully — not to be cruel or tease and not to belittle, mock or physically assault another human being. Parents should be on the front lines in teaching children right from wrong. We came across a story of one Mother who stepped up to the plate to immediately halt her son’s bullying. How she handled it however, may seem extreme to some people.
From The Independent:
A mother whose Facebook post shaming her “bully son” was shared thousands of times has defended her online outburst – saying she wanted him to see his “actions have consequences”.
Terry Evans said she was “absolutely disgusted” with her 12-year-old son after she found out he had been “bullying” a new girl at his school.
She said he had trodden on the girl’s foot so hard it had snapped the heel on her brand new shoes.
In the post – which has been shared more than 58,000 thousands times since it was posted two weeks ago – she wrote: “If you so much as breath in her or anyone’s direction in a bullying manner I will personally hand you over to their parents for every demeaning chore they see fit for as long as they do. Kiss goodbye to your birthday money as you will be buying the girl a new pair of shoes and a bunch of flowers!”
Terri Day-Evan’s Facebook post:
Absolutely disgusted that my 12 year old son saw fit to purposefully tread on a new girls foot at school and twist his foot with such force it broke her brand new shoes (causing the heel) to snap.
‘I’ll tell you something Jacob ( JustPost Rng Photos) if you so much as breath in her or anyone’s direction in a bullying manner I will personally hand you over to their parents for every demeaning chore they see fit for as long as they do… kiss goodbye to your birthday money as you will be buying the girl a new pair of shoes and a bunch of flowers! #iwillnothaveabullyinmyhouse
Update. To answer a few questions, yes my son can see it, he was tagged in it before it went viral(which I didn’t realise was going to happen) so his friends could see that his actions have consequences, he is not big, clever, hard or funny, he’s a 12 year old boy answerable to his mam.
I don’t much care who doesn’t agree with my parenting style, my son humiliated and embarrassed a girl, regardless of his reasoning (which was he didn’t expect to break the shoe he just thought she may step out of it or stumble) that little girl still cried, for anyone’s knowledge that girl may have left her old school because she was being bullied… then imagine how much worse my son’s ridiculous act would have made her feel.
So my so called embarrassing him online is a to be quite frankly nothing in comparison to the humiliation that little girl had to face walking round with a broken shoe and red eyes from crying when she is new.
Ps… of course I sat and spoke to him about his behaviour, I didn’t just tag him in a post and he read it! I am wholly confident this was a single occurrence which won’t be repeated.’
Although many commenters on her post were positive, several questioned her parenting methods and said she was “bullying her son” in the same way.
Carol Cunningham commented under the post: “I understand that you wanted to embarrass your son a little for his actions but tbh outing him on FB is a bully move. He clearly got his behaviour from you. Shame that you aren’t realising that.”
Alison Kyle said: “Why extend the humiliation? Your poor son. This will haunt him forever. A mistake at 12, online now for all to see.”
But Ms Evans dismissed the criticism, saying she posted the status “so his friends could see that his actions have consequences”.
She said: “He is not big, clever, hard or funny, he’s a 12 year old boy answerable to his mam.”
“I don’t much care who doesn’t agree with my parenting style, my son humiliated and embarrassed a girl, regardless of his reasoning that little girl still cried.”
“For anyone’s knowledge that girl may have left her old school because she was being bullied… then imagine how much worse my son’s ridiculous act would have made her feel.”
Ms Evans said she had spoken to her son about his behavior and she was “wholly confident this was a single occurrence that won’t be repeated”
This raises a lot of questions. Was the boy’s Mother too harsh? Was publicly shaming him an act of bullying? Some critics labeled her handling of the situation as “bullying” her own son — and that speaks to how misused the term ‘bully’ is today.
This boy is only 12-years-old and I think what his Mother did more falls under classification of ‘raising her child’ to have morals, compassion and kindness than it does bullying. We may not approve of how she addressed her son’s behavior, but at least she did address it — some parents might have just ignored it.
This is a conundrum — on one hand, we have a Mother who is trying to teach her child right from wrong, but on the other hand, half the world is now aware of what he did. Could that actually be a good thing? In my humble opinion, Mrs. Day-Evans showed that she is not only a caring Mother, but also a caring human being, because she showed empathy for the young girl as well.
We may not all agree with how Mrs. Day-Evans handled the situation, but I believe we should give her the benefit of the doubt and see that she had the best of intentions. The time for teaching good and bad and right from wrong is now. As our moral compass goes far off kilter, collectively, we need to recommit ourselves to healing the world by calling out negativity and showing a better way through positivity — and that starts with our children.