I have a friend who has taken advantage of me for many years. This friend calls me when it suits them and spends time with me when they have nothing else to do. You might be asking why I call this person “friend” at all. I asked myself this same question.
Relationships are complicated. When we first become friends with someone, obviously, something drew us together. We had things in common, we had a good time, we have similar views on the world, etc. Something clicks and we forge a friendship that hopefully, will last a lifetime. Alas though, sometimes we misjudge and this person we thought would be a lifelong friend, turns out to be someone that drifts in-and-out of our life. I heard a saying once that goes like this “Some people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.”
I guess this “friend” of mine was just for a season, because although we still talk occasionally, I realized that they were sort of using me, so I took a step back — of course, this friend is a bit oblivious, or perhaps, just can’t face up to their own insincerity? I’m glad we met, glad we had quite a few good times together but, have accepted that the friendship is now more of an acquaintanceship because they just didn’t show me any loyalty — I was an after-thought and I sensed this ‘friend’ couldn’t maintain a true friendship.
I read a short store online that resonated with me and I’m glad to share it with our readers:
The King and the Servant: A Lesson in Loyalty
The late king had ten wild dogs. He used them to torture his servants who made a mistake. One of the servants gave an opinion which was wrong, and the king didn’t like it at all. So he ordered that the servant be thrown to the dogs.
The servant said, “I served you for ten years, and you do this to me? Please give me ten days before throwing me to those dogs!” The king agreed.
In those ten days, the servant went to the guard who looks after the dogs and told him he would like to serve the dogs for the next ten days. The guard was baffled but agreed, and the servant started feeding the dogs, cleaning for them, bathing them, and providing all sorts of comfort for them.
When the ten days were over, the king ordered that the servant be thrown to the dogs for his punishment. When he was thrown in, we were all amazed to see the ravenous dogs only licking the feet of the servant!
The king, baffled at what he was seeing, said, “What has happened to my dogs?”
The servant replied, “I served the dogs for only ten days, and they didn’t forget my service. Yet I served you for a whole ten years and you forgot all, at my first mistake!” The king realized his mistake and ordered the servant to be set free.
This post is a message to all those who forget the good things a person did for them as soon as the person makes a mistake towards them. Don’t throw out the history that is filled with good because of one mistake that hurt you.
– Author unknown
Loyalty is vital to any relationship and it has to go both ways. When we forge a relationship with someone, whether it be a romantic one or just a platonic one, something drew us together and we must always focus on the things that first brought that bond to life. This ‘friend’ of mine that I spoke of is still a friend…of sorts, because we did share a lot of things in common and had some really good times. But for some reason, this person struggled to be a true, trusted and reliable friend. For this reason, we’re now just “kind of friends” and that’s okay. Loyalty goes both ways and in any relationship, we should be there for our friends and loved ones, just as we expect them to be there for us.