On our journey to positivity, an obstacle that we need to overcome is negative self-talk. Negative self-talk is that voice that tells us we’re not good or smart enough. Sometimes, the little voice actually comes out of our mouth.
In essence, negative self-talk is when we’re overly self-critical and when we focus on the bad and not the good. This kind of detrimental self-talk affects our mental health and can negatively impact how we face our day. When we make the commitment to becoming a positive person and embracing our inner happiness, we have the power to silence the negative self-talk by first actually becoming aware of it and then by rejecting it. Once we start to banish the negative self-talk, we need to replace it with thoughts which are positive and inspirational.
In place of negative self-talk, we need to take up positive self-talk, which involves using affirming and encouraging language, such as “I know I can do this.” Over time, as we increase positive self-talk and eradicate the negative, we can significantly boost our confidence level and even improve our emotional well-being.
How Do We Do It?
Practice makes perfect and by practicing positive, affirming self-talk, we challenge the negative and we literally turn negative thoughts into positive ones. Doing this means integrating positive self-talk into our daily routines and consciously changing the negative into a positive.
1. Identify the areas of your life that you want to change and most often have negative thoughts about, such as career, relationships, sports, friendships, etc. Its best to start small by focusing on one specific area to approach in a more positive way — in this approach, you may have self doubts about your ability to do your job, so one could write down every negative thought and at the end of the day, come up with the opposite in a positive. For example:
Negative: “I don’t know if my bosses even think I’m doing a good job.”
Positive alternative: “I’m going to do my best and always take feedback and constructive and not as a criticism.”
2. Being mindful helps us to stay in the moment, so throughout the day, checking to see how we’re thinking is beneficial. By stopping to consider our thoughts and reactions, we can stop the negative ones in their tracks and replace them with positive ones.
3. Take it easy on yourself. None of us are perfect — not one single one of us. We should be willing to cut ourselves some slack and realize that its a process — that sometimes, its okay to laugh at ourselves and see the humor in life, because laughing is a very positive trait.
4. Surround yourself with positive people. We need our crew — that core group of family and friends that uplift us. Its important that we surround ourselves with positive, supportive people who we can depend on to give us sound, constructive advice. Generally, negative people increase our stress and anxiety and none of us need that.
5. Re-enforce positive self-talk with purpose. One helpful hint is not saying anything to or about yourself that you would hesitate to say to someone else. Be kind and forgiving with yourself and give yourself some credit — encourage yourself, have gratitude and look for the positive as much as you can.
Here are just a few examples of replacing the negative with the positive:
Negative: “That’s is too difficult.”
Try this instead: “It may be challenging, but I love a good challenge!”Negative: “I can’t do it.”
Say this:“I’ll try my best — that’s all any of us can do.”Negative: “I always mess things up.”
Think this way:“If I mess up, I’ll learn from it and do better next time.”Negative: “This will never work.”
Instead of defeatism, say:“I want to succeed and I will succeed!”Negative: “My life is dull.”
Say this instead:“I’m very fortunate and I have a really full life.”Negative: “No one likes me.”
But they do, so think:“I’d love to increase my circle of friends, so I’ll seek out people who appreciate me as I am.”
“If you change your thoughts you will change your life.” —Dr. Norman Vincent Peale
