Loneliness can have a serious impact on our health and happiness. In fact, some experts believe that its a serious public health issue because of its negative effects on physical and mental health.
While its normal that we all feel lonely at times, these periods are often brief and tend to coincide with those times in which we feel that our personal need for social interactions and close relationships are not being met. However, its important to distinguish the difference between feeling true loneliness, versus simply being alone temporarily.
Many people make the conscious choice to be “alone,” without having too much socialization, yet they live happily and feel mostly content. However, there are a great many people who find that this type of experience is unsatisfying and that leads to a feeling of actual loneliness. Experts also point out however, that we can have a good deal of of social contact and have active relationships, yet still feel lonely — this can be for a host of reasons, including not socializing with people who truly make us feel as if we’re respected, appreciated of fulfilled.
But overall, experts feel that there are certain definitions of what makes someone actually experience the feeling of loneliness and they conclude that if a person has been experiencing loneliness for an extended period of time, it may be what is known as “chronic loneliness.”
WebMD offers these signs of possible chronic loneliness and they point out that signs and symptoms do differ and are dependent on each individual’s personality, situation, etc:
– You don’t have any close friends. The people you see are casual acquaintances you can spend time with, but you don’t have a deep connection with them.
– You experience feelings of isolation even when you’re surrounded by other people or in large groups. It may feel like you’re constantly on the outside looking in.
– You struggle with feeling like you’re less than or not good enough.
– When you reach out to others, your interactions feel shallow, and you don’t get a lot from people emotionally.
– You have exhaustion and burnout when you socialize with others. It can feel like you’re constantly drained and unable to interact the way you’d like to.
Similarly, these other signs were recently shared in a social media post and they too, while a bit different than the above, also seem to make sense:
– Oversharing when there is someone to listen
– Feeling like the “disposable” person in the group
– Putting people’s needs before your own
– Feeling the need to be overly helpful or nice
– Feeling isolated like no one really sees you
– Feeling like you don’t belong anywhere
– Becoming obsessive with friendships
I think we’ve all experienced one or a few of these feelings and experts seem to agree that is fairly normal. But if anyone feels lonely more than not, it really should be brought to the attention of a qualified expert as soon as possible, even if that is to the person’s Primary Care physician — they can then refer them to the appropriate professional do help deal with it.
But I also think we can all do something to help lonely people. We should make more of an effort to reach out to people who may be alone or feel isolated and we should always lead with kindness. While we may not be able to alleviate a deep feeling of loneliness in a person, we can at least let them know there are people who genuinely care.
Some specific ways we can help include:
- Acknowledge and validate their feelings so they know that feeling lonely is a normal experience for most people
- Make a habit of checking in with them regularly
- Offer to do things together and suggest something they might enjoy
- Let them know you want to help by asking them to share what it is they need to help them
- Be a good listener and respect their boundaries – sometimes it takes people a while to open up, so being patient is vital
We all need to feel wanted and appreciated, so reaching out to help lonely people is a wonderful way to help others.
